ANOTHER 2ww....

So originally we were supposed to have our ultrasound this coming monday (Aug. 4th) but our RE is going to be on vacation that week, so he bumped us to the following monday (Aug. 11th)!! UGH!!! So as of today we have 12 days left until the ultrasound. I've been going crazy since this weekend, wondering what's going on in there. I have no clue how I'm going to make it another 12 days.

As far as symptoms go, I'm super bloated, my pants are tight, I'm overly emotional and I should wear a shirt warning people of that. I truly believe I could go to bed by 3 p.m. every day, and I'm already having waves of nausea and heartburn. There better be two in there, or these symptoms better let up when I stop the meds, because I didn't experience this much this early during my pregnancy with R and it was rough enough!

I am getting very excited for the weekend before the ultrasound though! M is flying out Saturday, and R & I will drive down that afternoon. She booked us an adorable (and I'm sure way too expensive) room in Santa Monica . The hotel looks adorable, and I can't wait to have a girls weekend! She wants to take me shopping for maternity clothes, but we decided we don't feel comfortable doing that until after we see a heartbeat (or two). Even though our beta numbers are so strong we just don't want to take them for granted. Once we see that little flicker on the ultrasound screen we'll feel much better! Tomorrow is the 5 week mark! The little heart should be forming, and getting ready to start beating as we speak :)

On the home front, P's birthday is the 12th! We're having a Nintendo theme party for him. Basically pizza, drinks, and the whole family night playing video games. I'm going to attempt to make a Wii shaped cake! Hopefully it turns out alright. I'm going to bake the cakes when I get home after the ultrasound, and then frost & decorate it the morning of his birthday. Other than that, decorations and everything are going to be really simple. I hope it'll be a somewhat relaxing party since everyone will just be eating and playing games. We'll have the Wii set up of course, and I'm trying to get my hands on an old nintendo system with the original Mario and Duck Hunt. I think the adults would love playing that since it's basically what we grew up with!

Well, I'm off to go eat lunch and feed "Lil Fish" or "Lil Fishies" as I've nicknamed the baby/babies! Hope they like spaghetti today!

**317**

So 317 is our Beta on 10dp5dt! Doubling time is about 27 hours at this point! 3/17 is St. Patricks day (M is VERY Irish). 317 is also the area code of the area where D lived while attending Purdue university. And the last wierd coincidence? On 3/17/2009, I would be 37 weeks pregnant, which is around the time Twins usually make their appearance. Wouldn't that be totally cool??

So here is why I'm thinking Twins:
Ok... just pulling info from www.Betabase.info/ For 'day 15' which is equivalent to 10 days past a 5 day transfer:
24% of Singleton Pregnancys had a Beta of 282 and above (76% were lower than 282)
63% of Twin Pregnancys had a Beta between 238 and 588 (16% were higher than 588, 21% were lower than 238)

5% of Singleton Pregnancys had a doubling time of 27 hours or less (with a Beta between 256 & 512, 95% doubled in more than 27 hours)
15% of Twin Pregnancys had a doubling time of 32 hours or less (with a Beta between 256 & 512, 85% doubled in more than 32 hours)

So... we are even doubling fast for twins according to this website !! (I have no clue how accurate the site is though) But, I'm feeling pretty confident that regardless of how many we have in there... they are definitely healthy, and personally, I think that is the most important thing.

Ok ok... enough about pregnancy & analyzing numbers, right??? So last night was very fun! The kids were very good for the most part, but I NEVER EVER want to have that many pre-schoolers to myself EVER again. Today I'm supposed to go to a book club meeting, but I'm ditching it. Yeah, bad me... but I just don't feel like myself today, and my head is in the clouds thinking about having a possible twin pregnancy. I just don't think I could sit there, control my nausea, and talk about a book I didn't read completely... and the parts I did, I didn't really like anyways! Ya know... maybe I should go, just to try to get my mind off of babies!! Anyways... I'm off to take a bath now and relax a little...

The Craziness begins...

SO... my beta came back at 92!!! WOOO HOOO!! Here are comparable beta's from other Surro's at 8dp5dt like mine was taken at:
8dp5dt
Singleton: 10, 18, 21, 31, 33, 50, 58.4, 62, 82, 126
Twins: 52, 63, 64, 80.9, 84, 86, 89, 147, 227, 236, 249, 263, 284

Sooooo.... who knows? It's on the high side for a singleton, but middle of the road for twins... we'll have a better idea tomorrow when we re-draw and see the doubling rate. I'm leaning towards twins though just considering the fact that it should double every 48hours.... Here's my math working backwards:
Singleton: Wed: 92, Mon: 46, Sat: 23, Thurs: 11.5
Twins: Wed: 92, Mon: 23, Sat: 11.5

The reason I'm leaning towards twins is the tests I was taking have shown to pic up levels as low as 20, and I got a negative Sunday morning (which in the singleton scenario by level would have been closer to 30 at that point). The twins scenario matches more closely with the time I got my first BFP. So we'll see what tomorrow's results show! I'm so excited! M&D are over the moon of course, and I couldn't be happier for them.

On the home front, P's sleeping issues are still a mystery. Called and spoke with his Pediatrician per the idea a kind poster gave me on here, and she said to do what I've already tried (exercise). When I told her this, she started asking things like "well is he having bad dreams?" Nope. "Is he sick?" Nope. "Have there been any major changes in his routine?" Nope. "Well just give it time. I bet he'll sleep better when school starts up. That always tires them out." Ugh, great... I have now given the summer of 2008 a name "The Sleepless Summer". My worst pregnancy symptom so far has been restless nights, mainly because I always sweat alot when preggo, which is very uncomfortable when it barely gets below 70 degrees at night here. So between my night-sweats, and P's waking up, I'm in a constant state of half-sleep. I must say though, right when I get frustrated with him, he always does something so innocent and cute (and not on purpose) to make me realize that I am helping to raise a great kid... Saturday he wanted to draw S a picture and mail it to him (yes, we do live in the same house... he just like mailing people things). So I let him, he wrote our address on the envelope and we walked to the mailbox. Well, we got the letter back yesterday after P had already gone back to his mom's house. On one side of the paper he had drawn our family as stick figures. On the back is a letter to his Dad about how he prayed that I could be pregnant, and how he prayed to keep dad safe at work :::tears::: I'll add a picture later, but it was just the sweetest thing! It reminds me that even though I can get frustrated with the minor things he has issues with (food, sleeping, & whining basically) that he really is an awesome kid and his little heart is just so big.

ok... enough from me today... I'm teaching all by myself at Church tonight!! Wish me luck with 18 pre-schoolers!!!

At 1:50 am...

I woke up and HAD to pee... so of course I tested :) I will post again when I get the beta numbers this afternoon!

Faint lines...

Well, more faint lines on 2 different brands today! I wish they were darker, but there are lines consistently showing up on every brand I've tried since yesterday morning, so I'm not complaining!! Our Beta test is tomorrow morning, and we should have the results around lunch time. I'm excited, but nervous all at the same time. Anyways... Here's a pic of two tests I did this morning... can you see the lines??

Barely there huh?? Better than nothing I guess! Tommorrow I will be brave and use a digital before leaving to get my bloodwork done... Hopefully I can put a picture of a test showing "pregnant"!!

2ww hell....

So I know I haven't written since the transfer... things have been crazy!! The whole transfer experience with M&D was amazing. We went to a lovely dinner together Monday night, then of course neither M, nor I could sleep well! We were to nervous/excited/giddy/emotional. We got up around 7, I showered and S went and grabbed me some food. M&D had bought be a super cute Juicy Coture sweat suit to wear to the appointment, so I was stylin! We had to wait for about an hour since the RE was running a little behind. We wound up transferring 2 5-day blasts. The RE said they were a little "slow-growing", but nothing to be too concerned about. Then the whole rest of the day and all day Wednesday I had 3 people pampering me! They brought me as much as I could eat, and whatever I wanted at any time. Wednesday they even called the front desk for a wheel chair so they could wheel me out to relax by the pool. I appreciated that so much! It was so nice to just relax, chit-chat with them, and get caught up on some reading. I hated to leave them on Thursday morning, but I was also ready to get home and see the kids. So now, here I sit in the dreaded 2ww.... it's 11:30 and I can't sleep, but I was so tired earlier I almost fell asleep while on a walk after dinner! I hope this is a good sign... I've also been having lots of cramping since the transfer (which didn't happen last time), and my boobies are soooooooo sore! I'm truly hoping for (and anticipating!) a beautiful BFP when I test tomorrow morning... maybe that's why I can't sleep... my brain must think that if I just stay up a few more hours I can test again!

Anyways, on the home front, things are going good, but P is baffling me... Ever since school got out, he has been complaining "I can't sleep" a million times a night. My first response to that is, "well, getting out of bed to tell me that obviously won't help". He's almost 9, and has never had a problem sleeping before, so I can't figure out what is wrong. I thought maybe he wasn't getting enough physical exercise like he was at school, so we drastically cut his tv/video game time and encourage him to play outside as much as possible, along with not letting him sleep in (which my husband despises, because that means he can't sleep in either when I work during the week). We also started going for long walks after dinner when it starts to cool off. This worked 1 night... the last 2 nights he's been at it again. Last night I finally told him "If you get out of bed one more time, you are losing all your priveleges for tomorrow".... sure enough, he was up 15 minutes later! UGH!! He's not sick, not complaining of bad dreams, not sleep walking, not going to the bathroom, just saying he can't sleep. So he lost his 30 minutes of tv/video/computer time, no candy, no dessert, no friends. He didn't really complain all day, and had actually been a big help around the house, so at dinner time I told him "if you finish everything on your plate, I'll let you have a couple cookies for dessert". I really wasn't expecting him to do it since he's so picky, but he got so close!! The only thing he didn't eat was like 4 grapes (yes, I have an 8-year old who doesn't like grapes!). He had eaten most of them, and said he liked them, but "CHOSE" not to finish. He even said "I just don't want to eat them". So he excused himself from the table, and cleared his plate, and went and pouted in the den. We just ignore his pouting, so then 5 minutes pass, and he comes into the kitchen, grabs his plate with the 4 grapes and goes to sit back at the table! I told him "No way... you know the rules, when you excuse yourself, you're finished." So then he throws a huge fit and goes stomping off to his room. I just let him throw his fit in his room, didn't give him attention for it... and soon he was back to normal, but then the whole "I can't sleep" thing started up again. I heard him open his bedroom door, but he never came down the hall, so I looked in his room, and he's just standing there... I said, "What are you doing?" he says "Nothing. I just got up. I can't sleep", and I replied with, "Well of course you can't... You're standing up!" So he climbs back in bed and I remind him he just lost all his priveleges for tomorrow (now today... I saved this, went to bed, and it's now MONDAY!). So we'll see how tonight goes. I think sometimes he just pulls these stunts to make me take away his priveleges in hopes that someone will feel sorry for him. I make sure to do it in a calm way, no yelling, no dramatics.... just tell him the consequences before he goes to bed, and follow through with what I say when he breaks the rules.

ANYWAYS.... (sorry for the long post... it's spanning 2 days now!) This morning I got 2 very faint BFP's!! I'm sooooooooooooooo excited!! M&D are too of course.... now we just play the waiting game to see if they get darker tomorrow!! I might even have to sneak in another test tonight :) I'm almost in disbelief that I actually saw two lines! They are sooooo super faint, but S could see it, and M could see them on a camera phone pic, so I know I'm not imagining it! I just hope they are true positives... then I get to hope for a positive beta, then a healthy pregnancy, then an easy birth, etc etc etc...

Looking Good....

Well, we've gotten great news the last 2 days!! On Thursday, they retrieved 15 beautiful eggs from the ED and today the RE told my IM that 14 of those fertilized!!! WOOOO HOOOO!!! So we are set for a 5-day transfer on Tuesday! There's no way to describe how incredibly excited I am. My IP's really want to transfer 2 blasts, and the RE is fighting them to only transfer 1, but I'm sure they'll come to an agreement on Tuesday when the have the reports on the grades of the embryos. I'm feeling so great about this transfer, but it still is surprising to think that I'm going to be pregnant in just a few days!! (Because this WILL work!) I'm so looking forward to getting past this crazy part of the meds/travel/transfer stage, and to the part where I'm just completing my IP's family. I'm just trying to keep my eyes on the goal, and leave the rest up to God. I know he won't give us anything we can't handle!

In other news... R left this morning with Grandma & Grammy to go on her first road trip without Mommy or Daddy!! (cry!) They are driving down to Huntington Beach to visit some friends and family down there. She looked so adorable with her little Hello Kitty suitcase. My little girl is growing up too fast!!

On our way...

Well time is flying by now!! I've been poked and prodded too many times by doctors already this week. To sum things up, I had a monitoring appt. monday morning and my regular RE down in LA didn't like the results, so he wanted to see me ASAP to "look at things himself". So 2 sleepy kids, and a 3.5 hour drive later I arrived at his office by 8:30 am yesterday morning. He thinks things look decent, and we are all set for a transfer in a week or less!! WOOO HOOOO!! I just wish my body would start fully cooperating instead of making everyone second-guess what's going on. So we should find out Friday if I need to drive down on Saturday, or Monday! YAY!! I'm really excited, and can't wait to see my IP's and hopefully get pregnant for them. It's almost frustrating knowing that they are only a few hours away, yet I can't see them for at least 3 days or more!! I'm starting the PIO in the morning, and hopefully will avoid the lumps and bumps like I was able to last cycle... I might even have to learn how to give myself shots! I already did the little Lupron ones, but I've never had to give myself the big IM shots in the hiney. I'm sure it can't be that bad though!!

So with everything that has gone on lately, I feel like I have been neglecting my "time with God" that I used to have every night before bed. Lately I've just been staying up so late trying to get things done, and the meds are making me exhausted, that it takes all of my will power to stay awake while sitting at the dinner table! Is it bad that the only time I've made for Him lately has been during my morning showers? I know that sounds wierd, but seriously, that's the only time I've found that I can just tune out everything else (kids, husband, chores, phone, etc) and just have my little "talk" with him. I know I need to make more time for Him, and "it's hard to find the time" isn't a good excuse, but it has been for me lately. I'm going to try to work harder on it, but I guess for now my shower talks are better than no talks, right?!

Happy 4th of July!!

A new development overnight (well it seems that way at least!) R now has some tiny freckles!! Sorry the orientation is goofy... I can't get the uploader to cooperate with me right now... will try to fix it later. Can you see the little tiny freckles around her eye though?? I swear they weren't there yesterday! I knew with her complexion she'd be getting them eventually, but they still caught me by surprise. Just more evidence that my little girl is growing up.

Well the egg donor had her appointment yesterday, her estrogen levels & follicle count were a little on the low side, but the appointment was scheduled a little earlier than it normally would be due to the holiday weekend. They are going to repeat the ultrasound and blood work on Sunday & then we should have a better idea of when the retrieval and transfer will be. I'm getting so excited! I just have this calm, yet nervous feeling that everything is going to work beautifully this time. I've even had 2 dreams about being pregnant with twins!! That would be a cool experience... hard in it's own way, but definitely not something most people can say that they've done. So we're hoping for great news on sunday, and then great news on monday after my appointments! I really want this to go smoothly for M&D, especially since I've already caused them to have a minor set-back... yeah I know it was out of my control, but I don't want to cause anymore!!

R & I are going to go get ready to BBQ at Andrea's house in a bit... hopefully get in the pool for awhile, and maybe watch the neighbors do some fireworks. We didn't buy any this year since S is working and R is scared of them. It would be nice to see some though... Well, off to find my daughter... she just yelled "look at me mom!"... hmm... that usually means she's done something crazy...

It's JULY!!

Yay!! It's finally July... our big transfer is just over a week away. I can't wait to spend tons of time with M & D while on bedrest, and the days are sure flying! Work is busy, and I just had my 1 yr. review, which was good of course! So now they can't fire me so easy in a month or two when I tell them I'm pregnant (heehee!).

So guess I should try to catch up a little. Things have been hectic, but in a good way! My birthday & birthday party were awesome! I can't believe I've lived for a quarter of a century already. I feel much older though, so I don't feel embarrassed admitting I'm no longer in my early 20's. I've been keeping myself busy busy busy sewing baby booties. I'm going to begin to sell them online to try to help raise money for Hailey Kent's family (see link at right). I've also been super tired! It must be a combination of the hormones & hot weather. I could seriously go to bed at like 7 pm if the kids weren't still awake! Oh yeah, and cleaning? Out of the question... no energy to spare for ther :) haha. I've also been doing a lot of stuff with our church group, and teaching on Thursday nights still. Man I LOVE 3 & 4 year olds... so much raw personality. They don't care what you think of how they dress, or if you think their jokes are funny. The innocence of not knowing how to be someone "fake" or put on a front just makes me so happy. I wish they would stay that way forever. On top of it, most of them are just so eager to please. They want to make you happy, they want to help, they love singing (even off-key) louder than everyone else to get your attention. I just wish I could bottle them up and take them with me so I could play with them whenever I'm having a bad day. I don't know what I'm going to do when R gets older... I guess still teach the 3 & 4 year olds and just send her to the older class!!

Anyways, back to work I go... I will try to update tomorrow... the egg donor has her ultrasound to check the follicles, so hopefully we get some WONDERFUL news... and then more wonderful news on Monday after all my appointments... There's no way my body can betray me again, right?? All I can say is with all this extra estrogen I better have some amazingly thick lining!!